Quick! Someone (Andy) is coming over at the last minute (I've known for days) and you need to make a fast and easy dinner!
First...run cold water over the frozen Trader Joe's marinated tuna that you should have put in the fridge hours ago to thaw. Poke and prod until they feel unfrozen. Bake until they look good!
Steam two TJ's green chili and cheese tamales on your grody stove. TJ's is really helping you out at this point.
Use your steam basket from your rice cooker that doesn't fit on your small sauce pan but you make it work anyway.
Broil two peppers in your grody oven. Curse your landlord, and cry over how much you miss your gas stove that roasted peppers beautifully.
Check the oven every two to three seconds because you're pretty sure the years of grime is going to ignite any second.
Put roasted peppers in a pie pan (very important) and cover in plastic wrap...and a paper towel since you didn't get out enough plastic wrap. Worry that you're ruining the world and your health by using plastic wrap. Remember that you are exposed to hazardous industrial chemicals on a daily basis and move on.
Peel black flaky stuff off of the peppers, chop up the peppers and an avocado, and mix with a couple squirts of lime juice, red pepper flakes, salt, and pepper. Taste it and be very, very surprised that it actually tastes good.
Remove corn husks from tamales, burn yourself from the steam, try the tuna and approve, but wish you were put together enough to buy and cook fresh tuna.
Eat, enjoy, and hope your dinner guest comes back next weekend!
Each of these steps are VERY important, so remember them next time you're in a dinner pinch!